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DRAMAS. 

A Desperate Game 3 2 

After Ten Ycars„ 7 5 

A Life's Revenge 7 5 

Arrah de Baugh,.., .,... 7 5 

Aurora P'loyd 7 2 

Auld Robin Gray 25o 13 8 

Beauty of Lyons 11 2 

Bill Dctrick 7 3 

Brae, the Poor House Girl.... 4 4 

Brigands of Calabria 6 1 

Conn; or, Love's Victory 11 3 

Dora 5 2 

Driven to the Wall 10 3 

Driven from Ilome 7 4 

East Lynne 8 7 

Emigrant's Daughter 8 3 

Factory Girl 6 3 

Fielding Alanor 9 6 

Hal Hazard, 25o 10 3 

Heroic Dutchman of 76 8 3 

Henrv Oranden 11 8 

How He Did It 3 2 

Hidd(n Treasures 4 2 

Hunter of the Alps 9 4 

Hidden Hand 15 7 

Lifc'Lits and Shadows of the 

Great Rebellion, 25c 10 5 

Lady of Lyons 12 5 

Lady Audloy's Secret 6 4 

Man a-nd Wife 12 7 

Maud's Peril 5 3 

Midnight Mistake 6 2 

Miriam's Crime 5 2 

Michael Erie 8 3 

MillerofDerwent Water 5 2 

Jli.-tletoe Bougrh 7 3 

^Mountebanks (The) 6 2 

Old Honesty 5 2 

Old Phil'.s Birthday 5 3 

Outcast's Wife 12 3 

Out on the World 5 4 

Oath Bound 6 2 

Painter of Ghent 5 3 

Poacher's Doom ~ 8 3 

Reverses - 12 

Rock Allen 5 3 

Spy of Atlanta, 25c 14 3 

Thekia 9 4 

The False Friend 6 1 

The Fiital Blow 7 1 

The Forty-Xiners 10 4 

'Ihc (;in'J( man in Black 9 4 

The New Miigdalen 8 3 

The Howard of Crime 5 3 

Through Snow and Sunshine 6 4 

The Vow of the Ornani..: 7 1 

Ticket of Leave Man 9 3 

Toodles .7 2 

Uncle Tom '.^ Cabin.... i5 / 

Will-o'-the-VVi«p 9 i 



NO. u. y. 

41 Won at Last _ 7 3 

192 Zion 7 4 

TEMPERANCE PLAYS. 

73 At Last 7 1 

75 Adrift 5 4 

187 Av .' 6 S 

202 D. .13 5 

185 Dr -c 6 3 

189 Drunk:L;-d\s Doom...: 15 5 

181 Fifteen Years of a Drunk- 
ard's Life 13 4 

183 Fruits of the Wine Cup 6 3 . 

104 Lost 6 2 

146 Our Awful Annt » 4 4 

5;^ Out in the Streets 6 4 

51 Rescued 5 3 

59 Saved ^.... 2 3 

102 Turn of the Tide...... 7 4 

63 Three Glasses a Day 4 2 

62 Ten Nights in a Bar-Room... 7 3 

58 Wrecked „ 9 3 

COMEDIES. 

168 A Pleasure Trip „ 7 3 

136 A Legal Holiday 5 3 

124 An Afflicted Family 7 5 

178 Caste 6 3 

199 Home 4 3 

l74 Love's Labor Not Lost 3 3 

149 New Years in N. Y „ 7 6" 

37 Not So Bad After All 6 5 

237 Not Such a Fool as lie Looks 6 3 

126 Our Daughters .7. 8 6 

114 Passions 8 4 

219 Rags and Bottles 4 1 

221 Solon Shingle 14 2 

87 The Biter Bit 3 2 

TRAGEDIES. 

16 The Serf 6 3 

FARCES AND COMEDIETTAS. 

129 Aar-u-ag-oos 2 1 

132 Actor and Servant 1 1 

12 A Capital Match 3 2 

166 A Texan Mother-in-Law 4 6 

30 A Day Well Spent 7 5 

169 A Regular Fix 2 4 

80 Alarmingly Suspicious....^..... 4 3 

78 An Awful Criminal 3 3 

65 An Unwelcome Return 3 .1 

31 A Pet of the Public 4 2 

21 A llomantic Attachment 3 3 

123 A Thril-ling Item 3 1 

20 A Ticket of Leave 3 2 

175 Betsey Baker 2 2 

8 Better Half 5 2 

86 Black vs. White 4 2 

22 Captain Sniirh „ 3 3 

84 Cheek Will Win 3 

22.T Cupi 's Ciipcrs 4" 4 

49 Der Two Surprises 1 1 



jn 



MIDNIGHT COLIC, 

A LAUGHABLE SKETCH, 



IN ONE SCENE, 

/ 

By H. E. Allyn. 



Printed from the author's original manuscript, 



TO WHICH IS ADDED 

A DESCRIPTION OF THE COSTUMES-CAST OF THE CHARACTERS- 
ENTRANCES AND EXITS-RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE 
PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, AND THE AVHOLE 
i ^J- OF THE STAGE BUSINESS, 

M , 1/ ^ 

VV-" COPYRIGHT- ^«S;f ' 

Entered according to act of Congress in the year 188S, 63/ 

AMES' PUBLISHING CO. 
in the office 0/ the Librarian of Congress at Washington, 




-CLYDE, OHIO:- 



AMES' PUBLISHING CO, 



MIDNIGHT COLIC. 



-t^ /Iv-^^ 



CAST OF CHARACTERS. 

Jeremiah Tompkins, Very sleepy. 

De. Pillbags, Village physician. 

Sarah Jane Tompkins, With an attack of colic. 



SCENE— Bed Chamber— Midnight. 



Time of Performance — About 20 minutes. 



JNOTE. — Tiie character of Mrs. Tompkins can be person- 
ated by a maje. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 
I E.j means Right; l., Left; k. h., Right Hand; l. h., Left Hand; c, Centre; s. e,; 
[2d E.,] Second Entrance; v. K., Upper Entrance; m. d., Middle Door; f., the Flat 
T>. v„ Door in Flat; e. c, Rightof Centre; l. c, Leftof Centre. 

B. R. c. c. L. c. L. 

»** The rtader is supposed to b? upon the stage facing the audience. 



Midnight Coiic. 



SCENE. — Bed, icUh curtain, at back of stage, r. Chairs 
and stand at l. ; candle and matches on stand; tele- 
phone cd head of bed. Tompeins and Mes. Tompkins 
discovered in bed — lights down. 

3Irs. Tompliins. (sits up in bed, groaning) O-o-o-o-li! 
O-o-o-o-h! I'm so sick! O-o-o-li! Wliat sliall I do? Jer- 
emiali will be angry if I disturb liim. O-o-o-o-li! I'm so 
sick! Well, let him be angry; I'll have to wake him! 
(pedis) Jeremiah! Jeremiah! (shakes him) Jeremiah! 
O-o-o-h! I'm so sick! (calls) Jeremiah! I£ I was dy- 
ing I don't believe he would wake up. O-o-o-h! (slmkes 
him) Jeremiah! {verij loud) Jeremiah! 

Tompkins, {ivcdcing witJi a yawn) Heard burglars 
down stairs, I suppose? 

Mrs. T. (groans) Jeremiah Tompkins, I'm sick! Oh! 
I'm so sick! 

Tomp. What! and right here in the middle of the 
night? 

Mrs. T. Yes, and very sick, too! (groans) I've got a 
billions attack. 

Tomp. Is that all? I've had a thousand of 'em and 
they don't amount to shucks. Go to sleep and you'll be 
all right in the morning. 

Mrs. T. Jeremiah, I don't want to frighten you, but I 
must have help at once, (groans) I'm so sick! You 
must get right up and do something for me. (groans 

Tomp. Eh! Get up! Have I got to get up? 

Mrs. T. You must. O-o-o-o-h! 

Tomp. That's just like you. If you feel an ache or 
pain I must be aroused and hustled out of bed! Why 
didn't you have your colic in the afternoon? 

Mrs. T. O-o-o-o-h! O-o-o-o-h! I'm so sick! Get r^e 
^offietliiDg as qijicfe as yoii QaBrn! OrQ^o-a-JiI 



4 MIDNIGHT COLIC. 

TOMFKINB jumps out ofhccl, dresses hack of curtain; falls 
over chairs; finally gets matches and lights candle; 
yawns. 

Tom J). Now, what do you want me to get? 

Mrs. T. Get the Jamaica ginger first 

Tomp. And what will I get next? 

Mrs. T. (groans) Oh, get the ginger! It's in the china 
closet down stairs. 

Tomp. Yes, of course it is ! You hadn't sense enough 
to bring it up stairs where it would be handy if we wanted 
it. {exit, L. 2 E. 

Is heard rattling around among dishes and pans. Enters, 

L. 2, E. 

— Is it in a paper or box? 

3frs. T. It's in a bottle. I thought you knew what 
Jamaica ginger was. {groans 

Tomp. And perhaps I do. Perhaps I wasn't running 
a ginger farm in Jamaica, when you were in the a, b, c, 
class at school. {exit, L. 2. e. 

Be-cnter, ivith hottle, L. 2. e. 

■ — Here's your confounded old ginger bottle! Take it and 
stop that everlasting groaning. I want to get some sleep 
to-night, {blows oid candle; falls over chair) Confound 
that chair! it's always stuck in the way. {gets into bed 
with clothes on) Now go to sleep and behave yourself; 
it's most one o'clock! 

(Mrs. Tompkins stops groaning; Tompkins snores 

Mrs. T. (groans) Oh, the pain is worse! You'll have 
to get up. That ginger won't do, it only makes me sick- 
er-r! O-o-o-o-h! I'm — so — s-i-c-k! Jeremiah! Well, if 
he ain't asleep! (shcdces him) Jeremiah! 

Tomp. Wh-what now? 

Mrs. T. It makes me worse. Get up and get me some- 
thing else. (groans 

Tomp. Sarah Jane, do you mean to tell me that colic 
wasn't knocked into the middle of next July by that dose! 

Mrs. T. It's worse than ever. Please do get up! 

(groans 

Tomp. Oh, I'll get up, but this matter will be investi- 
gated to-morrow! We'll see if it takes a whole drug store 
to cure a simple colic, or whether you are revenging your- 
B^lf oe me. , Wbat do you want now? 



MIDNIGHTS COLtC. 5 

Ilrs. T. I must liave some peppermint to settle my 
stomacli. You'll find it 

Tomp. {(tngrij) Down stairs, of course! Just where 
we never use it! I'll make a change in this house to- 
morrow or linow the reason why! {business of geUing up 
as before, eic. ) Well, here is your doclgasted pepper^ 
mint! Don't let me hear anything more about colic to- 
night. You've probably stuffed yourself Avith fruit. Let 
this be a solemn warning to you. 

{gets in bed; sleeps and snores 

3Irs. T. {groaning icorse than ever; calls quicldy) 
Jeremiah! Jeremiah! Jeremiah! 

Tomp. {sitting up quick) What? What? 

Mrs. T. 0-o-o-h! I'm— so— sick! 

Tomp. Sarah Jane, I've borne a great deal from you 
for the sake of our child, but don't drive me to the limit. 
What's the matter now? 

Mrs. T. {groans) It's the colic! 

Tom}?. What! The same colic? 

3frs. T. Y-yes. 

Tomp. It can't be, no one ever heard of such a case! 
That colic was cured fifteen minutes ago. 

Mrs. T. Well, this is a new one, then, and I've got to 
have help right away. Get up, Jeremiah, I'm so sick! 

Tomp. {business of getting up, etc., as before) Well, 
what do you want now? 

Mrs. T. You must get me some mustard. You'll find 
it in a tin box 

Tomp. Down stairs! 

Mrs. T. Y-yes. 

Tomp. Of course! It's a wonder you don't keep it in 
the barn! If I live to see another day I'll coyer this bed- 
room with ginger, peppermint and mustard a foot deep. 

{exii, L. 2 E. 
Be-enier, Tompkins, l. 2 e. 

3£rs. T. Do you think you can make a mustai'd plaster? 

Tom}?. Certainly. You wet the mustard, spread it on 
an old red flannel undershirt and the job is done. I've 
made a million of them. 

Mrs. T. But you must mix in half flour. 

Tomp. Is the flour down stairs? 

Mrs. T. Y-yes. 

Tomp. Sarah Jane, the worm is getting ready to turn. 
Look out wlien ho does. After to-night w©'U see if all tJiQ 



b MIDNIGHT COLIC. 

flour in the house has got to be kept down stairs to please 
some whim of yours, (goes down stairs ifiihout ilie light; 
Old side) Confound it, where is that dodgasted flour any- 
way? {c(dls) Sarah Jane, where in the devil is the 
flour? 

Mrs. T. In the pantry, dear. Hurry up! I'm so sick! 

Tomp. (outside) In the pantry, dear! (falls over chair; 
racket ivith dishes) Condemn the confounded, dodgasted 
luck! I've skinned my shins all over! 

Re-enters, l. 2. e. 

— If you want any flour you can get it yourself! 
Mrs. T. Why didn't you take the light? 
Tomp. Confound the light! I'll mix the stuff without 
any flour. It will do more good — it will only be the 
stronger. 

Mixes the mustard, gets old shirt out of stand ch-awe7% 
makes plaster; gives it to Mes. Tompkins, and turns 
light down; gets in hed. 

— If you don't get better soon I'll ring the telephone for 
an ambulance and send you to the hospital. It might be 
that you are going insane. 

Lies down and snores. Mrs. Tompkins soon begins to 
groan and sits up in hed. 

Mrs. T. O-o-o-o-li! I'm so sick! I'll have to have 
Jeremiah get up and do something more, (groans) I'll 
surely die if I don't get help soon, (groans) Jeremiah! 
(shakes him) Jeremiah! Jeremiah! ( Tompkins snores 
louder) No use, no use! 0-o-o-o-h! If I only had Dr. 
Pillbags here. 0-o-o-o-h! If I could reach the telephone 
I'd call him. 0-o-o-o-h! I'm so sick! but I'll try it. 
(telephone rings and calls doctoi^) Oh, I'm so sick! 
(groans) Doctor! 0-o-o-o-h! Doctor! Come quick! Oh, 
I'm so sick! (listens) What? I'm sick with the billions 
colic! (groans) Come quick, come right up stairs! 
(drops phone) Oh, dear, I wish the doctor would come. 
(groans) How can Jeremiah sleep so sound while he 
knows I'm suffering so much? (groans) I'm so sick! 
{noise helow) Is that you, doctor? 

Dr. Pillbags. (below) Yes. 

Mrs, T, Well, come right up! (groans) I'm so sick! 



MIDNIGHT COLIC. 

Enter, Dr. Pillbags, l. 2 e. Turns up lighi. 

Dr. P. {stands at bedside) You appear in very much 
distress; let me see your tongue. 

Mrs. T. Oh, doctor, it's not my tongue, it's my 
Btomacli! 

Dr. P. What seems to be the matter? 

Mrs. T. 0-o-o-o-h! It's an attack of billions colic! 
(groans) I'm so sick! Give me something quick, doctor! 

(groajis 

Dr. P. {takes bottle out of pillbags, goes to stand, 
makes powder, gets glass of water) Here is something 
that will give you relief. {gives powder 

Mrs. T. {looking at it) "What is it, doctor? 

Dr. P. It's only an emetic, perfectly harmless! You'll 
feel better after taking it. 

Mrs. T. {looks at powder, shudders) Oh, I'm so sick! 

Dr. P. Well, take your medicine. 

Mrs. T. I know it's nasty, {shudders, takes medicine, 
wry face, shudders) Oh, that's — so — n-a-s-t-y! {groans) 
Oh, I'm — so — sick! 

Dr. P. You'll be better presently. Take a drink of 
water. 

Mrs. T. {takes a drink) Um-um-um-vmk! {s2mris 
ivcder oid) Oh, I'm so sick! Doctor, give me something 
to settle my stomach. {groans 

Dr. P. You'll be all right now. Here is a powder you 
can take in ten minutes and I'll leave you one to take in 
the morning, You'll be all right then; if not, just call 
me up. {exit, l. 2 E. 

Mrs. T. Oh, such nasty medicine! But I'm feeling 
easier. ( Tompkins snores ) How can Jeremiah sleep so 
sound? I don't believe a cyclone would wake him up 
now. I'm so much easier, I'll just try to sleep. 

Lies down and is soon snoring as loud as Jeeemiah. 
Lights up for morning. 

Tomp. {waking, yawns) Ahem\ Well, if the sun ain't 
shining! (c?oc/c s^W/res m«e) Nine o'clock, Jerusalem! I 
had ought to been to the office three hours ago. That 
dodgasted colic of Sarah Jane's is responsible for this! 
{shcdces^ her) Sarah Jane! Sarah Jane! There is no 
use trying to waken a woman when sleep and colic get a 



8 MIDNIGHT COLIC. 

square hold of her! {shades her) Sarah Jane! {very 
loud) Sarah Jane! (she sits iip quickly 

Mrs. T. What, dear, liave yon got the colic ? 

Tomp. (gefs out of bed) Don't yon mention colic to 
me again for six months. Do you know what time of day 
it is? Well, it's nine o'clock! If it had not been for your 
dodgasted colic I might have had some sleep last night, 
so that I could have got up early. 

Ilrs. T. It's too bad, dear, that you didn't get any 
sleep, but I feel better this morning. 

Tomp. Of course you are better. I don't claim to 
know more than all other people on earth put together, 
but I do know just what to do for billions colic. Sarah 
Jane, I saved your life last night, and I hope you feel a 
proper gratitude. 

Mrs. T. Yes, you slept like a log while I had to call 
Dr. Pillbags through the telephone. He came and gave 
me some medicine that cured me and you never knew a 
thing about it. 

Tomp. Sarah Jane! Are you going crazy? 

Mrs. T. No, but what I tell you is a fact as you can 
ascertain by calling at the doctor's office this morning and 
settling the bill. 

Tomp. Sarah Jane! Do you claim that after all I 
done for you last night with ginger, peppermint and mus- 
tard, that J didn't cure that colic? 

Mrs. T. Yes, dear! 

Tomp. Then I'll apply for a divorce at once. If I have 
to be poked in the ribs every night and kept awake and 
deprived of my rest on account of that infernal colic of 
yours, I'll not live with you. I'll cure your colic some- 
how! 

Starts off, L. ; meets Db. Pillbags, ivho enters, l. 

Dr. P. Good morning, Tompkins! How is Mrs. Tomp- 
kins this morning? 

3Irs. T. Oh, I'm well enough this morning. Doctor, 
you saved my life last night, and I am very grateful. But 
I can't convince Jeremiah that you was here at all. 

Dr. P. I observed that he was sleeping very soundly. 

Tomp. Do you mean to tell me, Dr. Pillbags, that a 
man could enter my sleeping apartments and I not be 
aware of the fact. 

Dr, P. Most assuredly, Mr. Tompkins. 



id:iDNiGin? COLIC. y 

^Tomjj. Well, you'll have to convince me of tlie fact be- 
fore I'll believe it. 
Dr. P. Here is your bill, sir! {gives pcq^er 

Tomp. (reading) "Jeremiah Tompkins, Dr., to pro- 
fessional call on Mrs. Tompkins after midnight, five dol- 
lars. To administering an emitic, one dollar; to other 
medicine, one dollar; to advice, fifty cents: — total, seven 
dollars and a half." Ahem! Well, I guess you was here! 
Call at the office at one o'clock and I'll settle the bill. 
And now, Sarah Jane, I want it understood that you 
never trouble me again with your "Midnight Colic." 



CUBTAIN. 



JUST OUT-A New Temperance Play ! 

Dot; the JVEinar's DaugMBr, 

OK, 

DnG Elass af W^inG. 

IN FOUR ACTS. 

DB AM AXIS FEBSON^. 

David Mason A farmer. 

Herbert Mason David's son— just from college. 

Royal Meadows Foster-son of Mrs. Clifton. 

Arthur Floyd a villain. 

George Clifton a returned Calif ornian. 

Parson Swift , An astonished clergyman. 

Bill Torry. A boatman— Floyd's confederate. 

Brewster Police officer. 

Ebony a colored individual. 

Mrs. Mason David's wife — a aood adviser. 

Dolores ? The minei-'s daughter. 

Mrs. Clifton George Clifton's deserted xoife. 

Winnifred Clifton Mrs. Clifton's daughter. 

Hapzibah A lady of color. 

Festival nf Days. 

A NEW AND OBI GIN AL SEBIES OF TABLEAUX. 
It is especially designed for Amateur Companies, as it re- 
quires only a pSaf foi-ni, no seenery being necessary 
for its production. Mirtli and Sadness are 
■well combined. Cosiumes Modern. 
Time one bour. Tlie foIIoTring 
are the days represented. 
Price 13 Cents— Order a Copy. 

characters. 
Bkader. 

New Year Chorus of girls in white, 

Washington's Birthday George Washington. 

Valentine's Day Maiden and lover. 

St. Patrick's Day Chorus of boys. 

Washing Day Girls at tubs. 

House-Cleaning Day '.'.'.'.Man and woman. 

April Fool's Day aid maid, and little boy. 

Ash Wednesday Monk. 

Good Friday V ''Iworrien 'at cross'. 

Easter Chorus of girls in white. 

May Day Mat/ queen, chorus of children. 

Memorial Day Ttoo soldiers. 

July Fourth Uncle Sam, boys. 

Emancipation Day Darkey. 

Hallowe'en '. .'.'.'.Group of girls'. 

Thanksgiving Day 2fan, little girl. 

Christmas Qroup of chmrm. 



l^'-E W MILITARY AliLBSO l^l 

SP Y DF JITLiLN Tii 

A Grand Military Allegory in 6 acts, by A. D. Ames and C. G. Bartley, 14 male, 3 
female characters, with as many supernumerary ladies ana gents as the stag« ma^ 
afford room for. This great ^ay is founded on incidents which actually occnred dur- 
ing Ihe war of the Reloellion— it introduces Ohio's brave and gallant McPherson—tho 
actual mannner of his capture and death is shown. It abounds with most beauttful 
tableaux, drill, marches, scenes upon the baUle field, in AndersonvUle, etc., and is 
pronounced by press and public, the most successful military play ever produced. «. 
A. R. Posts, Military Companies and other.organizations, who may wish gometHing 
which will draw, should produce it. It may not be out of place to add that this play 
with the incidents of the death of the gallant McPherson, was written with the full 
consent of the General's brother, R. 13. McPherson, sinoedead, who fully approved 

PRICE 25 CENTS PER COPY. 



HAL HAZARD; OR, THE FEDERAL SPY 

A MILITARY DRAMA OF THE LAIE TTAB OF THE REBELLION. 
IN FOUR ACTS. 

BY ERED. G. ANDREWS. 



This drama is a great success, and is published now for the first time, from the 
author's original manuscript. There has been a demand for a play which could be 
used by Gcand Army Posts, Military Companies, etc, which would be effective, ana 
yet not difficult to represent. This want, Hal Hazard will supply. ^, _ _, , _ 

It has eight male characters and three female. A few soldiers both U. b. and t. 
S., may be used, but there is no elaborate drills or difficult stage business to try the 
patience of the manager. It takcsfrom 1% to 2 hours to present it. 

The leading character is a double one— "George Clarannon, who assumes tne 
character of "Old Ilal " a very deaf and shrewd old man, who is equally at home in 
the Confederate or Federal Camp. As the Spy he is always on hand at the proper 
time, and always comes out ahead in all places where his services are needed. The 
other characters are all good consi'iting of a captain and lieutenant in the U.S. Army, 
and may be omitted if desired. There is also an excellent Leading Lady, Old Wo- 
man and Nesrro Comedy Woman. , , -r, • or 
Those who order and produce this play will be more than pleased.— Price ioc. 



An entirely original Allegorical Drama of the civil war in 
the United States, entitled, 

THE HUTCH RECHUIT) 

OR, 

THE BLUE AND GREY. 

BY J. T. VIEGABD. 



All rights to this popular drama have been purchased of it's anther, and it is now 
published in book form complete for the first time. It was produced season after 
season by tho original proprietor with unbounded success, and was the means of re- 
plenishing many G. A. R. treasuries, which were running low. 

It will be found easy to put upon the stape, full of thrilling and startling: situa- 
tions, hair breadth escapes, militarv movements, prison scenes, scenes full of pathos 
and tears, others in which the Dutchman and Irishman will convulse the listeners 
with laughter. Every character is good, being strongly drawn, and worthy the talent 
of the best actors. Price 25 cents per copy. 



TES, WE TBINK IT WILL PLBASS TOtTi 
THIS NEW DRAMA ENTITLED 

Brae ; thB Fonr ^ 

Hduse G-irlT 



It will please your audience at least if it is presented well. The character of BRACf 
is verymuch like "FANCHON THE CRICKET, "-is replete with 

RICH AND SPARKLING DIALOGUE, 

FUNNY AND TELLING SITUATIONS, 
DARE-DEVIL EXPLOITS, ETC., 

and worthy the best talents of the best ladies. The beauty of the play is that it is 
entirely original, the acts and scenes not being found in a dozen other Dlav<i but 
only this one. The leading man. Bob Wilder, is a gentleman of leisure, who be 
comes smitten with Brae, and in order to play the part, should be able to sin- and 
perhaps dance too— although it is not positively necessary. There is a very flmnv 

K ?? u ^ ^^^^' '^liic^ if played well will certainly "bring down the house " 

All the other characters 3males, 2 females, are tolling ones. To please" the avera''e 
audience of to-day, a play must be selected with a nice construction of sentiment and 
mirth. This play fills the requirements we believe. 

Send for specimen copy and see if it is not just what you want. 

Xime of playing 2 hours. Price 15 cents 

NO CHARGE IS MADE FOR ITS USE-PERFORMANCE FREE. 



NEW MILITARY DRAMA I 

THE CDNFEEERATE SPY. 

BY ELLSWORTH STEEDMAN. 

SEND 15 CENTS FOR SAMPLE COPY 



If you want broad fun! fun that will make you laugh 
and snort! fairly get up and howl and hold 

your sides! — buy a copy of 
BERT RICHARDS FARCE-COMEDY, EI^TITLED 

A ttend to this at or.ce and live longer and happier. Pricel5c 



NEW PLAYS 

PEIOE 15 OEKTS EACH. 

Here's an afterpiece that will catch 'em! Just out — 

entitled, 

That Awful Oarpet-Bag. 

An original farce, in three scenes, three male and three 
female characters. 



This is an ethiopian farce with an immense nigger — bo 
sure and get this one, 
entitled, 

THE BEST CURE. 

A darkey servant has an imaginary illness, and the 

way he is cured will keep the aundience in 

an uproar for thirty minutes. 

A Domestic Drama with a good moral — entitled, 

GERTIE'S VINDICATION. 

In two acts. Three male and three female characters. 

JACK, THE NEGBO, IS IJdMENSE! 

KATY, THE IBISH GIBL, A GOOD CHABAGTEB! 

Order a copy— It will play 1 1-2 hours, and with an after- 
piece will make an enjoyable evening's 
entertainment for an audience. 

This sketch is a stunner! Funny? Don't mention it! 

It Avill make an audience laugh more and 

harder than any sketch written in 

years — entitled, 

MIDNIGHT COLIC. 

A LAUGHABLE SKETCH. 

A BED-BOOM SCENE! MUSTABD HAS TAKEN A BI8EI 
" WHEBE IS THE JFi/OUB?" 



Articles JSTeeded liy AmatuHlpsv 

'Make toub own wigs, beabds, moustaches, j^tC 
peep abed wool in all colobs, peb oz., ioc--:^ 

TABLEAUX LIGHTS. Our Tableaux Lights are very easily u§ed and are 
of the best manufacture. Plainest directions accompany each. We have the fol- , 
lowing colors. Red, Green, Blue, Violet, White, Pink. Price each 25cents.jl'wl 

COLORED FIRE IN BULK. Put up in one-half pound packages; Phce 
per pound, $1.75. Per half-pound. 81.00. -^1 

MAGNESIUM TABLEAUX LIGHTS. A metal capable of beiiil, 
ignited by a common match, and burning with great brilliancy, producing a lisht i 
that can be seen thirty miles. Unequalled in beauty and brilliancy. This is the] 
best light for moonlight and statuary. Price each package, 25 cents} perdoMn.1 

82.50. ;■"' I 

LIGHTNING FOR PRIVATE THEATRICALS. We will sen^ a' 
package of material for this purpose, with full printed directions for its lyei: toj 
any address, for 50 cents. The effect produced by it will be found all that' caa b© 
desired. -~' j 

BLUE. For unshaven faces. This is very necessary in low comedy charictera. j 
Price per box, 25 cents. ',;• | 

PREPARED BURNT CORK. For Negro Minstrels. This article Wis ; 
can recommend as it can be taken off as easily as put on; in which it differ^ from j 
most all others manufactured. In tin boxes, enough for 25 perf orDjjtiices. i 
Price per box, 40 cents. 

CARMINE* For the face and to heighten the effect of the Burnt Cork in Negro 
characters. Price per box, 30 cents. 

CHROME. For sallow complexions, also for lightening the eyebrows, mous- 
tache?, etf^. Price per box. 25 cents. 

PREPARED DUTCH PINK. For pale, sallow, and wan complexions. 
Price per box, 25 cents. 

EMAIL NOIR. To stop out teeth for old men characters, witches, etc. Price 
40 crnts. 

PREPARED FULLER'S EARTH. To powder the face before "making 
up," 30 cents. 

JOINING PASTE. For joining bald fronts of wigs to forehead. Price per 

MASCARO'OR WATER COSMETIQUE. For darkening the eye- 
brows and moustaches, without greaang them and making them prominent. 
Brown or black, 60 cents. 

MONGOLIAN. For Indians, Mulatoos, etc. Price per box, 30 cents. 

PASTE POWDER. To enlarge the shape of the nose, for low comedy char- 
acters, etc. Price per box, 30 cents. 

PREPARED NOSE PUTTY. Used for the same purpose as Paste Powder, 
ami nprlied in the same way. Price, 25 cents. 

RUDDY ROUGE. For sunburnt faces. Most essential for low comedy 
country or seamnn's characters. Price per box, 30 cents. 

SPIRIT GUM. The best in use, prepared expressly for securing moustaches, 
etc. Price, 2."i cents. 

SKIN MOUSTACHE MASKS. For hiding the moustache in powde* 
cnstuniG pieces, negress characters, etc. Price, 15 cents. 

POWDERED ANTIMONY. For shading, the hollows of the eyes. Price 
per box, 30 cents. 

PREPARED WHITING. For Pantomimes, Clown's Faces, Statuary, etc 

Price per box, 25 cents. 

MR. CHAS. D. HESS' EXOVIA CREAM STICK PAINTS. 

No. 1.— Very Light Flesh Color. No. 10.— Sallow, for Old Ago- 

*' 2.— Deeper Tint Flesh Color. •' 11.— Ruddy, " " 

" 3.— Natural Flesh, ) " 12.— Olive. Healthy. 

" 4.— Rose Tint, > For Juvenile Heroes. " 13.— " Lighter Shad«, 

" 5.— Deeper Shape, J " 14.— Gipsy Flesh Color. 

" 6.— Healthy Sunburnt. " 15. — Othello. 

*' 7.— " " Deeper Shade. " 16.— Chinese. 

" 8. — Sallow for Young Men. " 17. — Indian. 

" 9.— Healthy Color for Middle Age. " 18.— Kast Indian. 

" 19.— Jap. 
Done up in sticks four inches in length, at 25 cents each. Lining Colors four 

inches long at 10 cents each. \ 

A Boxof Exovia Crcaui Sticks, containing the following colors: Two shades of 

Flesh, one Black, one Brown, one Lake, one Crimson, one White, one Carmine, aad 

acolor for Shading Wrinkles, Sl.OO. 



FUBLimED FROM THE AUTHOB'S OBiaiNAL 
MANUSCBIPT. "' ^ 



An entirely original Allegorical Drama of the civil war in 
the United States, entitled, 

THE DUTCH RECRUIT; 

OR, 

THE BLUE AND GREY. 



BY J. T. YIEGABD. 

All rights to this popular drama havo been purchased of its author, and it is now 
published in book form complete for the first time. It was produced season after 
Eeason by the original proprietor with unbounded success, and was tho means of re- 
plenishing many (i. A. R. treasuries, which were running low. 

The following are tho characters represented: 

Deitrich Vonderspeck The Dutch Itea-uit 

Col. St. Leon a loyal Southerner 

Harry Pearson a Union Spy 

Frank Duncan „ The Guerrilla Chieftain 

John Harker ISt. Leon's Overseer, afterwards a Guerrilla 

Charles White Ham/' s friend, a Union Spv 

Teddy O'Connor a son of the OldSod 

General Commanding U.S. Forces 

Col. Franklin „ of the U. S. Army 

Uncle Ned an Octopenarian 

Gfeneral Commanding G. S. Forces 

Sam one of the Bones of Contention 

Alex Burt A Lieutenant of Guerrillas 

Prisoner at Belle Isle 

Maude St. Leon a loyal lady, daughter of St. Leon 

Mrs. St. Leon wife of the Colonel 

Goddess of Liberty, Officers U. 8. A. Officers C. S. A. Citizens, Soldiers, Bush" 
whackers, Prisoners, etc., etc. 

It will be found easy to put upon the stage, full of thrilling and startling situa- 
tions, hairbreadth escapes, military movements, prison scenes, scenes full of pathos 
and tears, others in which the Dutchman and Irishman will convulse the listeners 
with laughter. Every character is good, being strongly dra'irn, and worthy the talent 
of the best actors. 

jg®- The publisher has purchased all rights in this grand Military Play and al- 
though at a high price, has determined to place it at the disposal of evei-y G. A. R. 
Post, S. of V. Camp, and in fact any organization who may wish to produce it. 
Therefore, bear in mind, there is no royalty on it— all can produce it who may 
wish to do so free of charge. 

eS" It is printed from new type on good paper— substantially bound in paper 
binding. 

PRICE 25 CENTS PER COPY. 

ADDBESa. 

A, D. AMES, FublisliBr, 
Lock Box 102. CLYDE, O. 



FUNI FUNII FUNIII 

TEE FUNNIEST COMEDY YET— JUST PUBLISEEV, 
ENTITLED 



^ CAPTURED; 

The Old Maid's Triumph, 

Four Acts— Four Male, Five Female Characters. 



Scenery Easily Managed. Costumes Modern. Characters all 

Good. Telling Situations. Susan Tabitha (th.e old Maid) 

takes the Audience by Storm, as slie tries to marry 

every man «Iie meets; if lie don't propose she 

does; final success of Susan. If you want 

a play that is full of fun, and 

|sure to please you, order a 

copy of CAPTURED. 

PBICE 15 CENTS. 

Act I. — Home of the Windchester's — Frank West field— Arrival 
of the '•Old Maid"; "I'm tickled een-a-most to death to see you!" 
"Mother Goose's Melodies" — Susan's experience in the stage coach. 
"Only twenty-four, brother." — Christopher Columbus! where am I 
going?" — "I see you, Frankie." — Susan's opinion of Jane. — Polly — 
Amusing love scene between Susan and Frank Westfield — his aston- 
ishment and terror, as she faints in his arms. — Tableau. 

Act .11. — Susan's explanation, — "Slang Debolishers Union" — 
"You'd better begin at home!" — A widower — "Good land! if I 
could not get something better than a widower, I wouldn't feel fit to 
soar to the land of milk and honey I" — Sara Sly, Polly's lover, who 
is a widower. — "If he does not propose, 7 will!" — Susan and Sam 
Sly. — Love scene between Polly and Sly, which Susan discovers. 
Her anger, and fall.— Susan and Sly loose their wigs. 

Act 111.— Joshua Pratt.— Susan's fear of men. — "Help! help!" 
Discovers Joshua — Ridiculous love scene between Susan and Joshua. 
"There's nothing half so sweet in life, as love's young dream. "-Kats. 
"Help! thieves!" — "It might run up my leg!" — The rescue — 
Susan announces her engagement and determination to go home and 
get married. — The departure. 

Act IV.— Home of Susan Tabitha— Sallie— Discovery of Joshua's 
poverty— Susan's anger and disappointment--"Can we get up ?"-Susan' 
cuffs Joshua's ears — Dinner — "Can we eat dinner?" — Susan relates 
her experience to Sallie — Telegram — Arrival and cool reception of 
Charles Westfield and wife— Joshua sleeps — Susan knocks over his 
chair, pulls his hair- A bank check— Snsati's promise.— Happy 
ending. ' 



ximBa' Plays — CnntinuBii. 



66 
116 
120 
103 

60 

140 
74 
3d 
47 
95 
11 
99 
82 
182 
127 
2-J8 



1 

15S 

23 

208 

212 

ih1 

■14 
33 
57 
217 
W) 
195 
159 
171 
LSI) 



Ini 
ln7 
6« 
64 



FARCES CONTINUED. 

Deu( „. 

Dul 

J"> •, V 



er.. 



ju Say., 



Man 

Law 



I'm. !';■'■:, .line , 

(io.i-t- \v!t;i till- i.ulden Ejjgs. 

(Jive .Me Mv Wife 

llaus, the Dutch J. P 

Hash , 

H. M.S. Plum 

lliiw Sister Paxey got her 

Child B:ipliz d , 

How r-hc has Own Way 

How Jlc I'lippcd the Que.st'n 

How t ) Tame M-in-Law 

How St'iiit i'oiir Gettiuar 

In the Wrong Box 

In the Wrong Clothes 

John Smith 

Jumbo Jum — 

Killing Time 

Kitti^'- Wedding Cake....„ 

LieU Sldlk't Wudding 

1, 'iiii.rbiioirs Little Surprise 



itT-in-Law 

.■.../.. ..-.,.•..■- iiian one 

MotlK-rs I'o.d 

Mr. and .Mr.''. Pringlc 

Sfr. Hudson's Tiger Hunt.... 

My Heart's in Highhiuda 

^ y PrpC'oiis Betsey 

ATy Turn Ne.xt 

M Wifo'.sJRe'ations 

My r>ay and Now-a-Days 

Obedience 

On the 8ly 

Paddy Miles' Boy , 

Paterr AV'ashintc Machine 

Persecuted I)utuhm.'iu 

Poor Pilicody 

Quiet Family 

Koiijili Diamond 



in? 

i;,' Circle of !'• riod.. 
A. M. Pinafore 

.'Ill;,'- X.-lu.dy 



:'dlo. 



i urn li ..111 i.iiit :i 

Tiie :rlmui Prof.ssor _ 4 

The Two T. J's : 4 



28 
142 
213 
161 
5 
56 
70 
135 
147 
155 

111 
157 

204 

15 
172 

98 
222 
214 
145 
lyo 

27 
230 
153 

24 

23.; 

77 

83 

128 

90 

61 

2Jt 

150 

109 

l?A 

177 

9(3 

107 

133 

179 

94 

25 

92 

10 

64 

122 

11.S 

6 

108 

4 

197 

las 

170 
216 

■m 

210 

203 
205 
156 



17 
loO 



Eh. 



Thirty-three Next Birthday.. 4 

Tit lorTa: 2 

Vermont Wool Dealer _. 5 

Wanted a Husband „. 2 

AViion Women \Veep 3 

■W'ooing Under Difficulties 5 

M hich will tie Marry...„ 

Widowei's Trials. ...„ „... 

Waking Him Up „. 

Why they Joined the Re- 
beccas 

Yankee Duelist 

Ya.ikee Peddler 

ETHIOPIAN FARCES. 

Academy of Stars 

An Unhappy Pair 

Black .Shoemaker 

Black Statue _ 

Colored Senators !~ 

Chops _ 

Cuff's Luck _....".".."! 

Crimps Tr;p .'. 

Fetter Lane to Gravesend 

Hamlet the Dainty 

Haunted House 

Handy Andy , 

Hypochondriac The ." 

Joe's Visit 

Mischievous N^igger. i,. 

J\lu,-;ieal Darkey 

No Cure No Pay 

Not as Deaf as He Seeioa.. 

Old Dad's Cabin 

Old Pompey 

Other People's ChiVdren.Z 

Pomp's Pranks 

Quarrel.-ome Servants , 

Huoms to Let 

i^ebnol 'S,[Z 

SeeinKBosting...™..,.. 

Sham Doctor 

16,090 Years Ago ".".' 

Sport with a Sportsman 

Siage Struck Darkey 

Stock:; Up, Stocks Down...., 

That Bov Sam 

Tho Select School '...™ 

The Popcorn Man 

'llie Studio , 

Those Awful Boys Z 

Twain's Dodsiug „.!. 

Tricks 

Uncle Jeff „ 

U. S. Mail ~~ 

Vice Ver!^a 

Villkens and Dinah....".."*.*. 

Virginia .\luu mv 

M'ho Stole tilt Chickens...'. 

^\ illiain Tell 4 

Wig-Maker jl'm] His ServanU 3 
GUIDE BOOKS. 

Hints on Elocution „ 

H.nts to Amateurs. ..._ „_ 



2 

1 

3 

1 

2 

3 

2 8 

4 6 

1 2 



4 
3 1 
7 3 




1 

1 
1 
2 


1 


3 



1 



1 



1 





3 1 

5 2 

5 2 

2 2 

3 1 

4 1 

6 1 
1 1 






CANTATA. 215 On to Victory (with chorus) 2.', cents 4 6 



jfi 



NHW PLI 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



-,_, IT - 017 198 463 4 

HecEntiy ijsi^LxeTT-r 

250. Festival of Days. A series of - M:i M. 15 i\tim, roi>r 

soutin;; the iiRunoriiil (l;ns of the year. .Just . 'an cvi'iiins's cnteria., 

ineut, iis it i.'^ cjisily iiroilm; il, n'i|uuiiig no si'( - i '. liiiniiir.'-e, one lion, 

251* Millie* the Quadi'oon; or, Out ( ,o. A drama in > 

iicts, by Lir/.i© -M. I'llu yii. li ni:i,k"s, •> lvm:t.l(ts: tlic : s.- of the .-<o j-oii. 

This drama is replete witli fine situations iind nnloo,^. ., , .. ... , vloiienu-nts. MJvtli 
anil sadness are well coiiihiiiod— soinothiiitr after the style ni "Unele Toui's Cabin,'' 
reiiresenting: secDos in the South before slavery was abolished, (.'ortunies modern. 
Time of jiroduetion, 2 hours. 

252. That Atrf 111 Carpet-Bag. An original rarce, in 3 scenes, by Ad 
II, liibson. :; males, 'A femnles. .Scene in a hotel: a widow aod olil nvi'd. wl.o-i- 
curiosity sets them into embaressing situations. Irish character imii 

30 minutes. 

253. The Best Cure. An cthioi>inn fatoe in 1 act, by C. V. ■ 

male, 1 female— exccedintrly funny fnrce. A darkey who was eur"d of ini;:;;ii!ary ill 
ness— the "cure" will be appreciated by all lovers of fun. Time, :ii) minutes. 

254. Dot, the Miner's I>--«'^i^ + "r; or, One GIs'- o" t.v^t,o, \ 
temperance drama, in 3 acts, hy J n, author of "M ' 

9 males, o females. This is the m mperance play ■. 

of the Tiile'' was published. Ci ,,. ...1 oiiually good: t — . 

Ebony and Hapzib.ah, which are immense, and. keeps an audienoe in ti. eoiuinuous ui>- 
ro.ar. Costumes, modern. Time, 2 hours. 

255. Gertie's Vindication. A domeHic dram.i., in 2 nets, by Ci II. Pierce. 
>S males. 3 females. A ihorouj-'hiy irood moral pla.\', sliowiufr the tn^th of th? old say- 
ing, "Ilcnesty is the liest policy.'' .Jae'ri, the negro, and K-ity, ihe^trish frirl. are 
liiith exceediofrly, j-'ood and will keep an audience convul.-ed with langhtei- '' 
tumes, modern. Time, one au'l one-half hours. 

25fi. Midnight Colic. A sketch in one scene, by D. E. AUyn. . 
1 female. A mo.:,t laughable sketch that will please every one. Tims of proibu-ru'i!. 
thirty minutes. 

257. Canght in the Act. Comedy in-. '5 acts, bv Newton Chisnell. 7 
miles, .'! females. 'I'his comely is a f.ivoritc in the profession, and will tike well 
withamatiieis— is lull of fun, dialosruc is spyrkliiig— not a dull .speech from begiii- 
niii'-' to eii I. Time of production is about 2 hours. 

MILLIE: ThIe^QUADROGN. a 

new Drama, just published from thi author's 
original manuscript, it is immense, and will 
give the best of satisfaction to an audience. 
The scene is laid In the south before slavery 
was abolished. The play is very much after 
the style of Uncle Tom's Cabin. Send for 
a copy. Only 15 cent^ 

MIDNIGHT CO Li L. a Laugh abl.- 
Sketch in one scene. This Sketch with Millie; 
the Quadroon, will make an evening's- enter- 
tainment that will please anyaudience> 15c,., 



LIBRftRY OF CONGRESS 




017 198 463 4 * 



